{"id":1264,"date":"2026-09-24T10:05:39","date_gmt":"2026-09-24T10:05:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/valerieocallaghan.com\/?p=1264"},"modified":"2026-09-24T10:07:01","modified_gmt":"2026-09-24T10:07:01","slug":"twelve-spiritual-tales-you-should-stop-believing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/valerieocallaghan.com\/en\/doce-cuentos-espirituales-que-conviene-dejar-de-creerse\/","title":{"rendered":"Twelve spiritual tales you should stop believing"},"content":{"rendered":"

Val\u00e9rie-Anne O'Callaghan<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I've been observing how people talk in the spiritual world for some time now, and it grates on me more and more. The practices themselves have their place, and many people find them beneficial. What grates on me are the ideas conveyed through them, and what those ideas do to the judgment of the listener.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Clinical psychologist John Welwood (1984) called spiritual bypassing<\/em> to the use of spiritual ideas and practices to avoid unresolved emotional issues. Forty years later, these ideas continue to circulate in workshops, training programs, and consultations. They sound generous, and they all ask the same thing: that you set aside your own judgment to make room for someone else's interpretation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

These are twelve of them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

01. Their behavior, your shadow<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00ab"If it affects you so much, it's because there's something within yourself that needs working." "If that bothers you about the other person, it's because you don't accept that part of yourself."\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What bothers us about others doesn't always reflect something we refuse to see. Their flaws deserve attention. Their values do too. But that doesn't excuse their behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

02. The lesson organized by the Universe<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00ab"Nothing happens by chance. That person has come to teach you something."\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Perhaps that person didn't arrive by chance. A conversation with a neighbor isn't a personal development exam either. The Universe doesn't enroll anyone in mandatory training.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

03. Karmic Knots<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Untying karmic knots where a lawyer, an accountant, or a doctor is needed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even with good karma, a water leak requires a plumber.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

04. Permanent serenity as a certificate<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00ab"If you were truly at peace with yourself, that wouldn't affect you anymore."\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Porges (2011) describes how the autonomic nervous system alternates between states of activation, connection, and immobilization according to the signals it receives from the environment. One can travel a long way and still feel anger, sadness, or fear. A nervous system that reacts does what it is designed to do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

05. Stay because the story would be karmic<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00ab"If the bond is that strong, it will be exceptional. Trials are part of the journey."\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes, behind twin flames, there is a toxic pattern of approach and rejection, and occasionally violence. Dutton and Painter (1981) described how the strongest emotional bonds are formed precisely in this terrain: an imbalance of power and unpredictable alternation between good and bad treatment. Calling it fate keeps the sufferer trapped inside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Intensity does not prove that the relationship is good, nor that it should be stayed in. No spiritual explanation justifies violence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

06. Disagreement with a teacher, a coach, the guru of the moment<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00ab"If I disagree with what he says, perhaps it's because I haven't evolved enough to understand him."\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n

By dint of repetition, one begins to doubt one's own judgment even before examining what bothers them. Some ideas can shake certainties, granted. Disagreement does not prove closed-mindedness or a refusal to evolve. Discernment is part of the process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

07. Raise your vibrations when sleep is lacking<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00ab"You need to raise your vibrations."\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Meditation, energy practices, and sound baths are beneficial. Sometimes a lack of energy indicates something other than a lack of spiritual elevation. It could be a lack of sleep, iron, or magnesium, and not necessarily a higher level of awakening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

08. Working for free and calling it a service<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00ab"Giving your time without pay is necessarily a form of spiritual evolution."\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This idea teaches that a person's time is worth less when it's dedicated to something called spiritual. Many acts of devotion serve primarily to soothe one's conscience, calm guilt, or prove to oneself that one is a good person. Sometimes, that has little to do with spiritual elevation. It's about buying a clear conscience and putting a pretty label on it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

09. Demonizing money<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00ab"If you were truly spiritual, you wouldn't need to charge."\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A system that wants people to be powerless teaches them to feel guilty for wanting stability or a pleasant place to live. A bank balance says nothing about anyone's detachment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

10. Believing that others are asleep<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00ab"The others are still asleep."\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As if one's own journey had become the unit of measurement for everyone's consciousness. Each person is awake in their own way, at their own level, and at their own pace. No single path constitutes the universal reference point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

11. Open unaccompanied<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Retreats, intensive workshops, ceremonies, with or without substances. You go home with insomnia, panic attacks, memories you didn't know were there, or the feeling of not being fully in your own body.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then, nobody. Without support, what has been opened remains open.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

12. Turn the collective into a personal task<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00ab"It's a block of yours. Work on it."\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Job insecurity, burnout, or loneliness are often seen as things to be fixed internally, through more practice. Some burdens come from outside and demand external changes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The system's engine<\/p>\n\n\n\n

These twelve ideas are based on a mechanism that works in two directions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The person seeking help is convinced they are blocked, dysregulated, and not yet fully embodied. Then they are sold the path back to themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Those who help others receive a different message: charging for their work, time, and experience is unspiritual. Meanwhile, the schools that train them sell them another level, another certification.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The same voice that manufactures the diagnosis also offers the treatment. And the diagnosis is formulated in such a way that no one can dismiss it: everyone has days of disconnection, everyone has an overactive nervous system. Carrette and King (2005) analyzed how contemporary spirituality has been reorganized as a commodity within the logic of the market, with a vocabulary that privatizes discomfort and returns it as a product.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Exit the circuit<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Four specific things:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00b7 When someone says you're blocked, look at what they sell right after.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00b7 When someone says that your disagreement is your ego, go back to what you perceived before they told you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00b7 When someone says that what bothers you about the other person is your shadow, ask yourself what value of yours is being trampled on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00b7 When faced with a lack of energy, first rule out the basics: sleep, iron, magnesium.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Regain sovereignty<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting off the beaten track is half the battle. The other half is learning to listen to yourself again: your inner voice, your intuition, your values, your ethics.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A teacher, a reading, a ritual, or a frequency can offer a great deal. The relevant question is how much authority one relinquishes to them over one's own life. As long as the answer remains external, the system is guaranteed its next payout.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Personal judgment speaks first once again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sources and references<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Welwood, J. (1984). Principles of Inner Work: Psychological and Spiritual<\/em>. Journal of Transpersonal Psychology. A clinical psychologist in San Francisco, a leading figure in transpersonal psychology, coined the term in this article. spiritual bypassing<\/em>, later developed in Toward a Psychology of Awakening<\/em> (Shambhala, 2000).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Porges, SW (2011). The Polyvagal Theory<\/em>. WW Norton. Neuroscientist, professor of psychiatry at the University of North Carolina and distinguished research fellow at Indiana University.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dutton, D.G., & Painter, S.L. (1981). Traumatic Bonding: The Development of Emotional Attachments in Battered Women and Other Relationships of Intermittent Abuse<\/em>. Victimology, 6, 139-155. Dutton, professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia. Painter, psychologist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Carrette, J. and King, R. (2005). Selling Spirituality: The Silent Takeover of Religion<\/em>. Routledge. Professors of religious studies, currently at the universities of Edinburgh and Glasgow.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Val\u00e9rie-Anne O\u00b4Callaghan Llevo tiempo observando c\u00f3mo se habla en el mundillo espiritual, y cada vez me chirr\u00eda m\u00e1s. Las pr\u00e1cticas tienen su lugar y a mucha gente le hacen bien. Lo que me chirr\u00eda son las ideas que se transmiten con ellas, y lo que esas ideas hacen con el criterio de quien las escucha. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1264","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-manipulacion-miedo-sesgos-disonancia-y-sobre-informacion-ia"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/valerieocallaghan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1264","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/valerieocallaghan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/valerieocallaghan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/valerieocallaghan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/valerieocallaghan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1264"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/valerieocallaghan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1264\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1265,"href":"https:\/\/valerieocallaghan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1264\/revisions\/1265"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/valerieocallaghan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1264"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/valerieocallaghan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1264"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/valerieocallaghan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1264"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}